Question:   My daughter and her husband were seriously pursuing an adoption but now my daughter is thinking of divorcing her husband because he has become physically and mentally abusive towards her.

My daughter has confided to me that their marriage was wonderful until her husband started using cocaine and drinking too much.  He always drank and she never had a problem with it before, especially when they both attended the University of Georgia together and he was always in the frat house with a big mug of beer in his hand.  

But now he's drunk most of the day and since he works in commercial real estate in Atlanta he says that he has to use cocaine to fit in with clients.  She doesn't know what to do. 

She went to a counselor who told her that maybe she should consider a divorce.  She admitted to the therapist that her husband would attack her if the University of Georgia lost a football game or if the Atlanta Braves lost a baseball game.  The therapist said he needs a psychiatric evaluation; she thinks he's crazy.

But my daughter really wants to adopt a child.  And if she divorces him then it will make things much harder.  What should she do?

T.R. in Roswell, GA

Answer:   No one should stay in an abusive situation.  It sounds like your daughter is putting her physical safety in jeopardy by living with her husband.

As divorce lawyers we commonly hear stories of abuse, alcoholism and drug addiction.  The good news, however, is that her husband can seek treatment and turn his life around.  From what you describe, he certainly needs professional attention.

Perhaps after getting good professional help, he and your daughter would be in a better position to pursue adoption.  We have had a number of clients who have sought treatment for alcohol, drug and abuse issues and, ultimately, had a strong marriage and adopted children.  If that doesn't work, then she can certainly call us directly and we can discuss her divorce options.

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