Parenting plans vary between situations. Just as no situation is exactly like another, there is no “one size fits all” visitation schedule. Many factors are considered for visitation. Some of these factors are the child’s age; parental mental health; history of child abuse; domestic abuse; alcohol and drug abuse; whether or not the child has siblings who will accompany her or him on visits; prior parental involvement with the child; and co-parenting relationship between the two parents.
It is actually rare for visitation to be denied totally. Even for people who have battled alcohol and/or drugs and gotten into trouble with the law, a complete denial of visitation is rare. However, the court may order that visitation be supervised by a third-party or that it is in a public place. That is to ensure the safety and well-being of the child. In some cases, a professional “supervisor” must be used for visitation. The supervisor is there to make sure that everything stays calm during the visit and that the child is protected. It is up to the court to determine visitation if the parties can’t come to an agreement. The court will weigh the evidence presented and determine the parameters of visitation, just like it is up to a judge to award custody.
From what you’ve written, there is a good chance that a judge will side with you and reduce his visitation. A judge will likely find his statements disturbing and order that he get counseling so that he doesn’t act like that around the kids. You would want to demonstrate that it is in the best interests of the girls for them to spend less time around their father. We have won cases for clients who have been in similar situations; situations where the minor children are exposed to various types of “bad influences,” which can include both abusive actions and words. He cannot use the First Amendment or a free speech argument as a defense for his actions or words.
It does not appear that your former spouse will be able to modify child custody or visitation based upon the facts you have shared. Having a drink with a meal is perfectly legal and is something that millions and millions of Americans do. Apparently she has not alleged that you act in a bad way after having a drink (or even that you are getting drunk), she merely believes that a person should not drink around their children. She is entitled to her opinion, but we see nothing that would give a judge a compelling reason to modify custody or visitation. In fact, many people consider it customary to have a drink with a meal.
You cannot make visitation conditional upon paying child support. If he does not pay child support you cannot stop court-ordered visitation.