Question: I really worried that I am going to fail my drug test this week. I am on probation for a DUI in Cobb County and if I fail a drug test I will be sent to jail. My Cobb probation officer said that if I fail a drug screen for marijuana she will put me in jail. I have been smoking a little pot and so I'm very concerned about what could happen to me if I fail. I don't do cocaine or oxy any longer.
I'm not sure what to do about this potential violation of probation. I haven't failed a drug test yet but I was smoking pot with some friends and if I fail and go to jail I'll lose my job. If I lose my job bad things will happen to me.
What should I do to not fail the drug test? I will not smoke pot any more. People are telling me all sorts of things to do. I'm really not a huge pot smoker and I need to stay out of jail. I've heard that I can get fake pee and even a fake phallus to hide the fake pee. Do you know anything about this stuff?
A.H. in Marietta, Georgia.
Answer: Obviously when you are on probation you should not do anything illegal, and smoking marijuana is illegal. There are companies that sell synthetic urine. The synthetic urine (fake pee) is presented as the individual's urine for purposes of a drug screen. These faux urine products often come with detailed instructions and users are directed how to warm the fake substance to a temperature that matches actual urine when naturally excreted from the body. The internet boasts a number of companies that are selling such a product.
There are even products available for sale that are far more elaborate than synthetic urine. There are companies that sell a prosthetic phallus that they claim “has the folds and texture of a real flaccid penis.” It is wearable and comes with an adjustable strap so that it may be worn and the pee sample is discharged from the fake penis.
Of course, instead of having to go through the hassles of purchasing synthetic pee or a fake penis, it would certainly be easier to just not smoke pot. But, since you submitted a question that is undoubtedly being asked by many other people, we wanted to answer your question directly.
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