Question:  I live in Sandy Springs with my wife and three kids. I have to get a divorce because of financial infidelity issues.

My wife has opened credit cards in my name and now I found out that I'm getting sued by American Express for over $40,000. When I confronted my wife she said that she has opened other cards in my name and the she owes over $100,000 on those credit cards. I never thought she'd get me in so much debt. Now I feel like the only thing I can do is to get a divorce.

She has done this sort of thing in the past, but not to this extent. She would open a store charge card and but some clothing or jewelry and then she'd tell me about it a few months later and I'd pay it off. I didn't think it was so bad. But this is different. She was paying the minimum amount due over about a year and charging the cards every week or every month at Phipps Plaza or Lenox Square. This is real financial infidelity.

I work as a doctor at a hospital in Atlanta. She doesn't work and hasn't had a job for about 20 years. She sometimes plays tennis, drinks wine every day starting at about 10:00 AM and sometimes smokes pot. I told her she'd be happier with a job but says she only wants to be a CEO of a major company, because she's really smart. But she only has a high school degree, so that's not happening.

I just can't get over the lying and the financial infidelity really hurts. I mean the money is a lot, but I can afford it. I've tried to send her to counseling with a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist but she says she doesn't need it and all the help she needs she can get from her friends on Facebook. Maybe it can be an uncontested divorce.

E.B. in Sandy Springs, Georgia

Answer:  Financial infidelity is a major cause of divorce. When a spouse feels that the other spouse has been dishonest, it can cause a severe rupture in the relationship. We have had many cases where a spouse secretly opens credit card cards in the other spouse's name or takes loans from banks, credit unions or finance companies by forging the other spouse's name.

Not only can these actions cause divorce, but they may also be illegal. Forgery, of course, is a crime.

Sometimes the debt that has been charged has to be divided in the divorce and is paid back over a number of years. Or sometimes the debt can be a negotiating point in the divorce.

With the prevalence of credit cards and other debt instruments, we as divorce lawyers see financial infidelity on the rise.

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