Question:  My husband has a lot of money in a 401 (k) and when we get divorced I'd like to get some of it. We've been married for over 15 years and he's seeing another woman. And since we have 5 kids I'm going to need a lot of child support.

My husband told me he wants a divorce and that he met another lady. He met her when he took a trip out of the country to Germany and now he wants to marry her. I really didn't see this coming and I thought our marriage was pretty good, with the usual ups and downs. I kept wondering why he kept going to Berlin on business, when his company doesn't have an office there. He said he was trying to develop business and that his boss told him he had to go there.

But I've found out that he was just going to see his girlfriend, who is a model and actress. She's been in a few commercials and in magazines. I found that out because a friend of mine is a private detective and he did me a favor and followed my husband for a week. I got a discount of the fee. He also discovered that my husband is a porn user and possibly a porn addict.

He's been working at the same company for over 20 years so he's got a hefty 401 (k). I'd definitely like to get some of that money because I gave up a good job when we got married. I was selling advertising for radio stations in Macon, Georgia. I want to keep the kids in the same house we've been living in here in Cumming, Georgia.

I also think I'll need child support. It's not easy supporting 5 kids and I think he should contribute as much money as he can afford. Our kids take acting, dancing, painting and Japanese lessons. And they're involved in sports from golf to car racing.

Please tell me what to do to get his 401 (k) and child support.

T.S. in Cumming, Georgia

Answer:  In a divorce, the parties (usually thru their divorce attorneys) can negotiate for a split of the 401 (k) and child support.

Child support in Georgia is based upon the child support guidelines. The guidelines take into account multiple factors, including number of children involved and the incomes of the parties. However, there can be deviations from the guidelines.

A 401 (k) is divided in a divorce using a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). How a QDRO is split between the parties is often negotiated. Once negotiated, the final agreement would be incorporated in the final divorce documents. A QDRO is then written to enable the 401 (k) or pension assets to be legally divided and paid.