Question: When I read your divorce blog with the question by the man who married and found out that his wife had once been a man, I almost fell out of my chair.  This happens far more than most people think but many people are too ashamed and embarrassed to talk about it.

I am a woman who actually thought I was marrying a man.  But the person I married used to be a woman.  She had sex reassignment surgery.  My spouse never told me about the surgery before we were married.  But after we got married I noticed something was wrong.  I asked my spouse and finally he admitted that he grew up in Cobb County as a girl.  He was a cheerleader and was involved in ballet dancing before realizing that she wanted to be a man.

I really wish he had told me about all this before we were married.  Now it just seems kind of weird and my parents are pretty upset.  I don't know if we can have kids.  We think that someone who has changed genders should at least tell a potential spouse about it before marriage.

We live in Dunwoody.  I work in Atlanta and he works in Sandy Springs.

It's so hard to believe that my husband, who I thought was a regular conservative man, actually grew up as a girl in Marietta.  I'm starting to think that he was lying when he said he was in the U.S. armed forces and played rugby in college.

Thank you for addressing this issue on your blog because more people than you think are dealing with this.  I think I'm going to need a divorce attorney.

Answer:

We have received many inquiries and comments on our blog post for a question about gender reassignment.  We didn't think the response would be so great.  If marriage counseling is unable to help, then you need to speak with a divorce lawyer.

People who intend on getting married really should tell their future spouse about their relevant history.  This can include prior criminal charges, prior financial difficulties and certainly sex-change surgery.  If these issues are not fully explored prior to marriage, they certainly can lead to major difficulties after marriage.

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