Question:  It's hard for me to believe that I'm writing to you.  Please don't use my name.

I have always considered myself to be conservative both socially and politically.  I always vote Republican.  I don't believe in divorce.  I never envisioned that I might have to divorce my wife but I don't know what else to do.  I have not read about anyone else in my situation so I feel alone and scared.

Anyway, this is pretty hard to write, but I just found out last night that my wife used to be a man.  Yes, I know that sounds weird.  And as far I can tell, she used to be a pretty average guy.  She admitted that she had surgery about 15 years ago, in her early 20's.

We dated for only three months before I proposed.  She never mentioned anything to me that would even make me think about this issue.  I never met her parents, who she said she never got along with and that they live in South Georgia, next to Florida.  And any time I asked to see childhood pictures she always had an excuse, like her parents had them all or they were destroyed when they moved.

We've been married for a little over 2 years and I really never suspected it.  There were a few times when certain things didn't quite make sense to me, but I just figured that that since we were recently married everybody goes through it.  But I just can't let this one go.  Not everybody goes through finding out that your wife was once a man!

We met at a club in Midtown Atlanta when I worked there and we just bought a house in Roswell.  I work for a company in Sandy Springs.

Is the fact that she was a man and never told me grounds for divorce?  I don't want anyone to find out, what can we do?  The whole situation is embarrassing and I'm worried my boss could fire me for being so dumb.

Answer:  Of course all posted questions and answers are anonymous.  Thank you for sharing what must be a most difficult situation and one that will become increasingly common as society becomes more accepting and as medical science progresses.

As for the divorce, you need only cite irreconcilable differences.  You do not, necessarily, have to mention her sex change.  If there are contested issues, her gender change may become an issue, either specifically or tangentially.  However, it does not have to become an issue.  Our law firm has a great deal of experience negotiating divorce settlements for couples who wish to have absolute discretion and want to maintain as much privacy as possible.

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