Question:  We spent a wonderful day visiting friends in Dunwoody, but my wife got drunk and we got into a fight over money. As usual, she spent too much on some jewelry and she was talking about her purchases from Phipps Plaza in Atlanta with our friends. She probably bought over $20,000 worth of jewelry for herself. She doesn't work, so I don't appreciate her spending my money like that. For as long as we've been married, which is approaching 25 years, she has always spent like that, even when I tell her not to because we can't afford it.

In the argument I blurted out that I was unhappy with her spending and I said that she's put on some weight, I called her “porky,” which was dumb. When we got married she looked like a different person. She was a bathing suit model and she had a great figure and kept herself in shape, always working out and jogging, although I suspected she had an eating disorder. Now I think she's put on 30 pounds, which I probably shouldn't have said in front of friends.

She got mad and said that I used to be different before I developed a drinking problem. I have been to rehab a few times and I go to AA, but I haven't had a drink in 3 years, except for the rare wine with dinner. I admit I had a problem when I was drinking a bottle of vodka every three days. But now I'm sober.

What are the most common reasons that people get divorced? Because I think we're heading that way soon and I want to save my marriage, at least if my wife stops spending my money and loses some weight.

V.A. in Sandy Springs, Georgia

Answer:  We certainly do hope that you can save your marriage. As local divorce lawyers, we see intimately the causes of divorce. Here are some that are common:

• Too much arguing
• Addiction
• Infidelity
• Unrealistic expectations
• Marrying too young
• Abuse
• Money issues
• Weight gain
• Lack of commitment

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