Question: I will be getting a divorce soon and I'm worried that my wife will find my Facebook messages with my girlfriend and that will mess up my chances to get a good deal in the divorce.
The background is that our marriage has totally broken down. We don't really speak any more, we only text. We don't eat meals together; I just cook for myself and eat it in the basement. We haven't slept together for about 3 years. Sometimes our kids act as our messengers, which I know isn't right but that's what happens. I know it's weird.
I think my wife may have turned lesbian, but I can't prove it. She thinks I have anger issuers and an alcohol and drug problem. I admit that I probably need rehab but I'm not in a position to take that much time off from work. I'm a doctor and I just can't afford to take much time away from my medical practice.
Anyway, I started dating other women because our relationship sucked. I mean if my wife won't really talk with me, I need to do something about it.
I've been communicating with my girlfriend using texts and Facebook. But now I'm worried that the texts and Facebook messages can be found. And then her divorce lawyers will use that against me and I'll be on the hook for some big money.
D.C. in Roswell, GA
Answer: It is very possible that your wife's divorce attorney will be able to find your text messages and your Facebook posts. In fact, a good divorce lawyer will always try to find those types of communications to prove an extramarital relationship. The lawyer may request them in the discovery process or subpoena them.
Technology has created many more places for incriminating evidence than ever before. Places like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Gmail and others can offer a treasure trove of lurid narrative and pictures. Many of these places produce evidence for us to prove that there was infidelity, an affair. And if someone is caught cheating, that can impact things like alimony, child custody and child support.
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